We might not have a season, but at least we have a schedule.
In all seriousness, I have made a conscious decision to remain optimistic about the chances of the 2020-2021 NFL season starting on time/being played at all. Life is pretty bleak right now so why not comfort ourselves with the thought of football returning in four months, even if some of the science and experts may not be on our side.
The NFL schedule announcement that took place yesterday didn’t quite give me the same amount of excitement that the draft did, but it’s always nice to have something sports-related to talk about during this strange time. And much like the draft, schedule release day is a time in which every single fanbase is allowed to ignore history, logic, and statistics and instead just be delusionally hopeful. Even if you’re a fan of a team that went 0-16 the year prior, you can find your way to—at the very least—a projected 8-8 season if you analyze your schedule for long enough.
One of the main reasons I’m praying that this NFL season does in fact take place, is the fact that I think this has the potential to be a really fun Giants season. I know that may sound crazy to say about a team that has a won a combined 12 games over the past three seasons, but it’s true. We’ll finally be able to have a season that doesn’t revolve around aging Eli conversations, we have an interesting young head coach to place way too much of our faith in, and we’ll get Daniel Jones’ first full season as a starter as well. It feels like anything can happen this year, in an exciting way. I mean, who knows, maybe we’ll even win more than five games for the first time in four years.
Before we get into predictions though, let me break down a few quick thoughts on this year’s schedule:
- I actually really like the idea of playing in one of those weird opening Monday night games. For starters, it lets me enjoy opening Sunday without having to worry about a bad Giants performance that usually ends up ruining the whole day. Secondly, we can easily blame the weird kickoff time if we end up losing that game. It’s always important to have some pre-thought-out excuses in your back pocket, just in case.
- After opening in Dallas five out of the last seven years, I’m very happy we don’t have to see those fucks until week five.
- One thing I’m not all that excited about is the prospect of Daniel Jones being hit by TJ Watt, Khalil Mack, Nick Bosa, and Aaron Donald throughout the first four weeks of the season. Here’s hoping that our revamped offensive line we’re all so excited about can actually protect our sweet prince.
- The fate of our season will be decided in weeks 5-10. I won’t lie, the thought of playing all but one of our division games in a six-week span is slightly terrifying. Depending on how that stretch goes, our bye week after the second Eagles game is either going to be a time in which we enthusiastically celebrate our “in-the-hunt” status or angrily complain about another season gone awry.
- I have no idea what our record, or the Buccaneers record, will be by week 8. But what I do know, is I can’t wait to see a broadcast full of highlights of Eli beating Brady twice and DJ getting his first career win against the Buccaneers last season. We could lose this game by 40 points, and I would still be happy as long as I got to see these two plays coming in and out of every commercial break:
- I’m declaring our Dec. 20th game against the Browns a three way revenge game, and I’m so ready for it. The first part of the revenge game is obviously Odell’s return to MetLife. But, we’ve also got Jones’ revenge on Baker after he took some shots at our boy last season (that may have been completely taken out-of-context and overblown, but it doesn’t matter because I love a revenge game.) And finally, who did we hire as our Tight Ends Coach this offseason? That’s right, Big Ol’ Freddie Kitchens. The revenge trifecta is coming. Please let us win it, for the love of god.
- Final thought, this is some absolute bullshit: (But, fuck it #RoadWarriors2020)
Now it’s time for my unbiased, completely objective prediction based on nothing other than statistics and facts.
Giants 2020 Record: 16-0
Not A Real Person Yet 