As the coronavirus pandemic now has us approaching our third month of quarantine, I figured I should share the ten best activities for people to partake in while staying at home. I think it’s clear that we’re all starting to go a little crazy due to our current situation, and while I haven’t tried all these activities myself, I am confident that they will help you deal your own quarantine struggles. Since this past weekend was Memorial Day Weekend, which saw some of us breaking quarantine to hangout with a few friends after two full months of lockdown, these ten activities are good ways to reintroduce yourself back into the world of staying inside.
Without further ado, here are the top ten most time-consuming and emotionally rewarding quarantine activities for you to do today.
10. Try Every Facial Hair/Hairstyle Idea You Were Always Too Scared to Attempt, Then Realize You Look Ugly No Matter What You Do and Learn to Come to Terms With That.
Quarantine is a time to attempt self-improvement, but more than that, it’s a time to face the harsh realities of life. So go ahead, let that mustache grow, see how that man bun looks, because there’s no better time than the present for you to learn that you’re a 6 (on your best days) no matter what you do.
9. Sneak in a Couple Naps While You’re Supposed to Be Working From Home.
It’s a well known fact that the best naps are the ones in which you not only get the pleasure of taking a nap, but also of avoiding responsibilities. We all know 99% of office work doesn’t actually take eight full hours to get done, so take this time to catch up on some sleep while those emails roll in.
8. Text an Old Friend and Try to Ignore the Fact That You’ve Grown Apart and Neither One of You Have Made an Effort to Reach Out in the Past Six to Twelve Months.
You both know you’re only texting because you’re bored, and you both know you’ll go back to not texting once the world reopens. But, that shouldn’t stop you from having some meaningless, dull, underwhelming small talk while also reminiscing about high school.
7. Online Shop For Things You Don’t Need or Want.
Don’t worry about the fact that you might still get laid off and the status of the American economy is up-in-the-air. Load up Amazon and fill your cart with a Nintendo Switch, some bathing suits you won’t be able to wear because summer is dead, an Alexa because you’re like “fuck it, the worlds ending so I might as well give away all my privacy,” and an exercise bike because you’ve convinced yourself that you’re going to get in shape during quarantine. Press purchase and don’t think twice.
6. Keep Track of Which Friends You Actually Miss and Which Friends You Haven’t Really Thought About That Much, So You Know Who to Silently Cut Out of Your Life Once Things Get Back to Normal.
Quarantine is a time to make changes for the better. So, as it continues just make some mental notes about which friends you actually are looking forward to seeing and which ones you can maybe do without. Perhaps you can’t wait to see your buddy Timmy, but have been enjoying your time without Susan and her incessant need to always bring up how her semester abroad in Barcelona changed her life, even though that was four years ago and she’s 25 now. Be sure to remember that when Susan texts you to get drinks the weekend after quarantine is lifted in your area.
5. Find and Develop a Workout Routine That You’ll Inevitably Quit Once Quarantine Ends.
This is maybe the most popular entry on this list. Be sure to find a full routine for you to do four to five times a week. Buy several pieces of at-home workout equipment, start a diet, feel better about yourself and then immediately give it all up once bars, restaurants, and your office opens up again.
4. Try to Record a TikTok, Then Remember You’re in Your 20s and Feel Bad About Yourself and Your Decisions.
Once you hit record, make sure to take a healthy amount of time to reflect upon all the terrible decisions that led to this moment. Take some time to truly feel bad about those decisions as well. There comes a time in everyone’s life where we become too old to join in on the new social media trend. For TikTok, I’d argue that anyone past the age needed to receive your learner’s permit should just walk away.
3. Make Post-Quarantine Plans on Various Dating Apps That You’ll Never End Up Following Through On.
Who says you can’t meet new people during quarantine? Hop on Hinge, Bumble, Tinder or whatever dating app you prefer and start swiping. Have that “we should get drinks once this is all over” message locked and loaded. Then, after your match says “sounds fun,” make sure to never follow up on a single one of those conversations once real life returns. There’s really no downside with this one.
2. Get Mad Online at People Who Are No Longer Following Social Distancing Guidelines.
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem during quarantine, then judging people online is the best remedy. Getting angry online has been a tried-and-true method for ignoring your real problems and getting short-term gratification long before quarantine began. For a fun little quarantine spin on it though, tweet out pictures of people partying or gathering together in a public place like a beach or park and shame them for their actions. This way the 78 people who follow you will know that you’re fucking awesome. You can also just go through your Instagram Stories and find your friends who are hanging out with people during the pandemic. Even if they’re only seeing two or three friends after quarantining for two full months, silently judge them in your head and think about how you’re a better person than them. This should help you forget about your real problems for upwards of 20 full minutes.
1. Drink.
When all else fails…
Not A Real Person Yet 