I enjoy gambling.
I would say I’m bad at it but I wouldn’t say I’m any worse than the average 20 something white male who follows Barstool, or Bill Simmons, or other sports gambling content online and decided to give it a try and then after a few months/years giving it a try turned into losing more than an acceptable amount of money.. so I got that going for me. But in my 20 something years I’ve learned a couple things, first that I enjoy a good adrenaline rush but, second, and even more than that I enjoy not having to move, not leaving my home, and sitting on my coach with some sort of unhealthy food dish in front of me and 6 to 24 cold beers in a fridge no more than 100 feet from me, so that’s where gambling comes in.
Here are my picks for this weekend, gamble responsibly.
Buffalo @ Houston(-3.0) O/U 44. Saturday 4:35PM.
I’m sick of it, I’m fucking sick of it, I’m sick of watching the Houston Texans every play in this early Saturday game every god damn year. For that reason and that reason alone I’m taking Buffalo +3, I’m still not ready to call Josh Allen a good quarterback but I think he can make enough plays on the road with the help of this Buffalo defense to possibly win this game.
Pick: Bills +3
Tennessee @ New England(-5.0) O/U 44.5. Saturday 8:15PM.
I’ve used one word and one word only to describe this Patriots team all season long, Frauds. When they were 8-0? Frauds. When they lost three out of their following five to the Ravens, Chiefs, and Texans? Frauds. When they lost week 17 to the Dolphins at home to lose their bye? Hilarious, but Frauds. Now with all that said, I hate this and I hate you and I hate myself but this spot is so classic Patriots. They’re winning this game, the world is going to be betting Titans +5, and I just can’t do it. I’m going to watch this game with a knot in my stomach the entire time but I have to do this..
Pick: Patriots -5
Minnesota @ New Orleans(-8.0) O/U 49.5. Sunday 1:05PM.
I have a feeling that Sean Payton, Drew Brees, Michael Thomas etc. want to murder every team they play this postseason. Like legitimately murder them. After two consecutive unbelievable, heart-breaking, inconceivable exits from the playoffs, one to this very team, they are going to let up. They are going to try to score on every play, and if they’re up 40 they won’t change that philosophy at all which is why I love the over here. Points points points.
Pick: Over 49.5
Seattle(-2.5) @ Philadelphia O/U 45.5. Sunday 4:40PM
I’m a Giants fan, I was forced to watch NFC East football all season and I’m sick of it. This is a don’t overthink it game, I don’t care how the Eagles finished the season the Seahawks are the better team and we need all need to finally cleanse ourselves from 2019 NFC East football as quickly as we can. Please don’t let this be close Seattle.
Pick: Seahawks -2.5
Not A Real Person Yet 