What do people do? That’s a real question because I honestly have no idea.
So recently I’ve realized that at the age of 23 years old I don’t really have a single answer to the question, “what are your hobbies?” And this is a problem because when you have a lot of boring conversations on Bumble as I do, this question is going to come up. I’ve thought a lot about it though and honestly I think I just don’t have any real hobbies. But, I also think that specific phenomenon is not unique to me. I think most “adults” (in this case I’m using the word adult to describe anyone over the age of 18) these days don’t really have a lot of hobbies.
Don’t get me wrong I wish I had some hobbies. I think the problem is that the “hobbies” that exist in 2020 aren’t real hobbies. Hobbies in 2020 are just like “I watched The Office on Netflix again instead of doing literally anything productive” and that’s like your whole Saturday. I feel like people of previous generations used to have real hobbies though, and then Netflix/Hulu/Youtube/Twitter/Instagram came along and fucked everything up because now we all just want to stare at screens all day long. But, binge-watching season 2 of Sex Education on Netflix in one day, or getting angry at tweets on your timeline don’t feel like real hobbies. Hobbies are supposed to give you some sense of accomplishment or a sense that you completed something. Like old boring white people assembling ships in a bottle, or old less-boring white people making shit out of wood in their garage. People who have hobbies can be like “look I built a whole canoe with my bare hands” while 23 year olds in 2020 get to be like “look I watched episodes 8-13 of season 4 of Parks and Rec for the 6th time, and told people on Twitter my opinion on something.” It’s different.
So, do I have any hobbies? And if I do, what are they? Before I answer that I have to give a little evaluation of who I am, let’s get introspective. I’m a male in my early 20s living in the year 2020. Which means, based on the way I look, someone could see me on the street and go, “hey look, a man.” (ya know how people talk on the street?) But the truth is males in their early 20s living in the year 2020 are really only like 60% man, 30% child, and 10% female. Maybe I’m generalizing a little bit too much by saying this describes all of us, but I’m fairly confident those percentages pretty much sum me up. I said all that to say this, my hobbies aren’t things like rebuilding old car engines, and sawing stuff in half, ya know real man shit? Instead my hobbies are more like watching sports comfortably from my couch, watching films, drinking when I’m sad, drinking when I’m happy, having anxiety attacks, and writing these blogs that no one reads. Let’s be honest they could be worse though. At least I’m not one of these people that’s like “oh, what are my hobbies? Well, number one would definitely be going to the gym.” Just know, if you say this, everyone hates you. And I don’t mean everyone hates you as in “damn you got a lot of haters, just ignore them” I mean everyone hates you as in, “people don’t like you and you should feel bad about it.” I guess my generation just sucks at hobbies. But as always I refuse to place the blame on myself or any group that I’m a part of, so I don’t know why or how it’s their fault but I’m going to blame old people.
One of my biggest problems when it comes to this issue is that I just don’t know how people pick up new hobbies past the age of like 16. What kind of sociopath like… finds new interests as an adult. I will admit the quarter life crisis I am deep in the depths of currently, is kind of pushing me to try to find new interests but we all know those won’t stick. Picking up new hobby is like starting a jog. Stick with me here I really think I’m starting to get the hang of this whole analogy thing. Ya ever have to start a jog? It’s the worst part. You’re just walking on the street and you have to pick the right time to just randomly start running. And when you start running you startle everyone around you because it’s a frightening experience to watch someone go from walking to running when you’re not expecting it. The same strange feeling those random bystanders get while having to witness someone start a jog is the same feeling your friends get when they come over and see a guitar in your room even though you’re 28 and have never played a musical instrument before. Look, I’m aware that analogy kind of fell apart, I did my best to salvage it. My point is though, that starting a new hobby as an adult is awkward, feels foreign, and nobody wants to do it.
Also, if you’re just starting something that means you suck at it. I’m sorry, but I have no interest in doing something I suck at as an adult. I’ve gone through my whole life sucking at mostly everything, but I thought the whole point of that was once you’re older you’ll have all this experience and you won’t have to deal with sucking at everything you do all the time. I may not be a smart man but if I can give one piece of advice to anyone reading this out there it would be, don’t try to broaden your horizons and liven up your life with new activities and interests, that’s dumb. Stick to only doing things you’re good at it, or at least moderately decent at. Which is why I will choose to continue to be emotionally unavailable in relationships throughout my 30s and 40s because life is all about playing to your strengths baby.
Even though I have mostly been talking about adults and hobbies, I do think a similar thing is true for kids nowadays. I honestly feel bad for them too. Growing up with all this technology and social media must have killed a bunch of hobbies for them as well. I’m not even sure what hobbies an average 14 year old in America has. If I had to guess I’d have to say, watching Tik-Toks, cyber-bullying their classmates, and trying to find someone older than them to buy Juul pods for them. That sounds pretty fucking depressing, I feel like I had a ton of better options when I was a kid. I don’t really remember what I was doing when I was young but I mean I must have had some pretty sweet hobbies because I didn’t have a job and that was before the depression had wiped away all my energy on a daily basis… damn, I must’ve been killing it.
I guess either one of two things is true. Hobbies are dead, or hobbies have just changed from what they used to be and are a lot worse. But also, now that I think about it I’d much rather watch a bunch of episodes of Shark Tank on Hulu than build a stupid ship inside of a bottle. So I guess if I could sum up the whole point me writing 1000+ words on hobbies in one sentence it would be: fuck you old people and your ships, I’m never gonna die.